Sudden Death – They Must Die

Marky Mark- (No talent sell-out punk.),

Mall Survey People- (See: “Do You

Piss in the Shower?”),

Catherine Blossom- (She is the person at Toad’s in

New Haven who is responsible for booking acts.

When “Weird Al” Yankovic came there we contacted her

to try to get the gig opening for him. We were the

only group who wanted the gig. We were asking for

thirty minutes on stage, and told her we weren’t

interested in getting paid. We just wanted to

perform. She didn’t even have the professional

courtesy to call us back and say no. She just ignored

us and refused to return our calls. So on the night

of the show “Weird Al” played with no opening act)

Fab 5 Freddy- (He was one of the judges at a rap

contest I was in several years ago. I was easily the

crowd’s favorite to win, but he voted for an 11-year-

old-Vanilla-Ice-lookalike-Bart-Simpson soundalike-

pudster named MC Loud. It’s not the fact that I lost

that bothers me. It’s that I lost to the worst of

all the contestants.)

Tipper Gore- (PMRC- The

Pre-Menstrual Recording Communists),

Wesley Crusher- (He just annoys me.),

Michael Jackson- (Ditto)

That Woman in the Sprint Ads- (Can you say…obnoxious?),

Macaulay Culkin- (I used to work in a video store.

You’d hate him too if you had to look at 400 pictures

of this little brat’s face plastered all over the store.),

Rush Limbaugh- (I think Da Other Asiatics said it best:

“My rhymes are fat and stupid like Rush Limbaugh”.)

Hollywood Artists- (Hollywood Artists Record Company.

They took my song “That’s How I Like It” and totally

wrecked it. It has to be heard to be believed.

That whole incident was a scam. I’ll spare you

the details. Never trust a record company that [as I

found out later] advertises in the National Enquirer.),

Barney- (the fat, fascist, purple pedophile

is single-handedly giving parody a bad name.)