Tenacious D – Drive-Thru

JB: Kage…

KG: Yeah?

JB: Let’s go to this drive-thru.

(Motor Sounds)

KG: Oh good, I’m starvin’.

Drive-thru guy: (mumbles)

JB: Yeah, um…ah

Drive-thru guy: May I have your order?

JB: Yeah, hold on a second, I’m lookin’ at the menu

Drive-thru guy: okay

JB: …ah l-

Drive-thru guy: would you like special curly fries?

JB: Please, don’t, don’t offer me anything… I’ll tell you what I want.

um…ok…you know how you have the six-piece nuggets?

Drive-thru guys: six piece mcnuggets.

JB: Just, uh, can you give me just four nuggets? I’m, I’m tryin’to…

Drive thru-guy: They come in six or twelve piece…do you want service?

JB: Shut up and listen to my order. Take the six nuggets, and throw two of them

away. I’m just wantin’ a four-nugget thing. I’m tryin to watch my calorie

intake.

Drive-thru guy: They come in six or twelve pieces sir…

JB: Put two of them up your ass, and give me four chicken mcnuggets. And then,

uh, can I have a junior western bacon chee? A JUNIOR western bacon chee. I’m

trying to watch my figure.

Drive-thru guy: Western Bacon Cheeseburger…

JB: A JUNIOR Western Bacon Chee…

Drive-thru guy: Would you like that with onions?

JB: No Onions.

Drive-thru guy: Okay, Junior Bacon Chee…Total is $6.57

JB: Okay, and I’m gonna go with a fillet of fish sandwich, since that has less

calories, ‘cuz it’s fish.

Drive-thru guy: Fillet of Fish…

JB: Now if you could take a Coca-Cola, and just go half Coca-Cola, half Diet

Coke…’cuz I’m tryin to watch my figure…Tryin to loose some of the weight.

Drive-thru guy: You want half Coca-Cola, half…

JB: Um, and a SMALL, a *SMALL* Chocolate Shake. Because I’m tryin to watch my

figure, not a large, a small.

Drive-thru guy: It come’s in medium-small or medium-large.

JB: Um…

Drive-thru guy: Small Chocolate Shake.

JB: Also a small seasoned-curlies

Drive-thru guy: Seasoned-curlies…

JB: Small, seasoned-curlies.

Drive-thru guy: Okay I got the small seasoned-curlies…western bacon

cheeseburger…

JB: Okay, uh…Fuck my ass, what else? Give me, uh…alright. Cherries Jubilee

and that’s it.

Drive-thru guy: Cherries Jubilee.

JB: Wait, Kage, what do you want?

KG: Ah…Jeez, let me have a…I think I want the regular, uh, western

bacon-cheeseburger, Large shake, um…

JB: Oh God! Come on with the order.

KG: I’m…

JB: Take forever.

KG: That’s all I want. That’s all I want…

JB: good. How much is that sir?

Drive-thru guy: That’ll be, uh, $14.75. At the window please, will you drive up?

JB: Do you have any money?

KG: Oh shoot, um, oh god. Yeah, I got…do you have s…I got like…

JB: Give it to me.

KG: Alright, here.

JB: Okay, we only have, uh…alright. I’m gonna need to cancel the last two

things on the order. Okay, thank you, let’s go.

(Motor Sounds)